In Loving Memory……

[Whispers] Hello, is anybody out there?

Silence.

[Shouts] Hey! Where is everyone?

Silence.

As I am sure you can imagine brimming with anticipation on returning to blogging I excitedly went on a whistle-stop tour of all my favourite blogs. Of which there were many.

Eager to catch up on all I’ve missed since Libby was born and attempted to suck out all my will to live by never, ever sleeping.

Sadly, I found lots of this,

Only to be expected I guess, and obviously I would’ve been invited if I hadn’t carelessly neglected my blog for quite so long.

But I also found lots of this,

Gasp!

I really mean it, GASP!!!!

Too many of the blogs I loved and followed are not even in existence anymore.

It’s like while I was absent completely unbeknown to me there was some kind of tragic blog holocaust.

Whole blogging civilisations wiped out with absolutely no explanation.

Sob!

I find myself feeling a bit like this guy,

See the sadness in his eyes?

That’s exactly what my eyes look like right now!

Those few who remain almost without exception seem to be super-bloggers now attracting millions of visitors and blogging on a scale I never even new was possible.

So here I am, a Wall-E emerging from a blog holocaust (though for certain I’ll be doing a lot less cleaning up than that guy!)

I guess it’s time to make some new friends.

Anyone?

In case you were wondering.....

We are still alive!

And finally ready to blog again.

And this time I really mean it!!

Coming Out of the Non-Blogging Abyss!

So I haven’t blogged for 11 months (What do you mean you hadn’t noticed?).

Last years New Years Resolution was to blog more.

Whoops!

This year I failed to even make a single resolution.

Because unmade resolutions are really the only ones I stand a chance of keeping.

I could blame it on this…….

…….because she still doesn’t sleep through the night.

Yes, she is almost 16 months old,

and YES, I am beginning to take it very personally.

Her sleep mode is faulty, busted, defunct.

But in reality all the effort I could’ve been putting into blogging I have instead put into sitting on my backside eating chocolate, and not gaining a single pound.

It’s a long way back from Sofa heaven.

See you in another 11 months.

Or maybe even sooner!

Be My Valentine…

Yes, it’s true I am officially smitten.

Thank you Microsoft for simplifying one area of my life.

Now if you could only excel your good selves and invent a program that gets Libby sleeping 12 hours a night I’d be forever in your debt.

In Defence of Britney Spears

Well that was a title I never ever imagined giving a post, or even a single thought for that matter.

I think if we’re honest people we’re all still slightly disturbed about when Britney did this.

It wasn’t a good look.

I knew my old Dyson was on the fritz but didn’t realise quite how decrepit it was until we replaced it with a beautiful new Dyson and I got quite carried away with some celebratory vacuuming (I don’t know what it is about vacuuming with a Dyson but for me it is the most fulfilling housework I ever do, or maybe just the only housework I ever do?) and emptied the cylinder only to find enough hair to hairify (I know that's not a word or even a possibility but I’m sleep deprived so I really don’t care so much)about 12 bald men.

Previous to this Eli had gone to use the bathroom after I had showered (which was a delightful change, usually he likes to visit at least once per shower, another joy of parenthood) and exited the loo in a panic. On seeing my head wrapped in a towel his panic intensified.

“Mum, you showered all your hair off!”

I went to look and reassured him that I did have some hair left on my balding dome.

Post Partum hair loss sucks.

I leave a trail of long brown hairs wherever I go. I find them in very dubious places. I have thinning patches all over. My tresses are distressed.

Not tres glamorous.

Then I remembered dear troubled Mrs Federline as was, and that she had 2 kids really close together (which I still think wasn’t so much entirely intentional and more completely accidental, not that I’m judgmental, much) and I thought wowsers that post partum hair loss had to be really dreadful.

So maybe that’s why Brit buzzed all her hair off.

(If I could pull it off like Katherine Heigl in Grey’s I’d be tempted I’m telling you. But alas I would not be a beautiful baldy and I know it.)

Well that or that Brit really was just a total fruit loop.