Should Never Have Asked

Thomas and I were playing a good game of snap yesterday. Well as fine a game of snap as you can play with a 3 year old who disregards all the rules and insists that Chick Hicks and Mater are a pair regardless of any attempts to convince him otherwise. Eli wanted to join in (roughly translates as Eli wanted to destroy everything) but Thomas rejected his attempts and said he couldn't play because he's a baby.

Eli is 21 Months, he's gigantic. It's hard to consider him a baby anymore. So I explained that Eli really isn't like a baby anymore and that maybe we should get a new baby. Thomas was all for it. I asked if he'd like a girl baby or a boy baby to come live with us. His preference was for a girl. So I asked what name he thought she should have. I didn't expect his reply to be anything particularly normal because after all he is only three. He pondered for a very long time, I half expected him to say Neve. Neve is after all his best friend.

Instead he said, "Helicopter!" Looking very pleased with his idea.

"Helicopter isn't really an name though is it Thomas?"

"OK, get two babies and we call them Buzz and Woody!"

I don't know which appalled me more the future thought of Thomas insisting we call our offspring Buzz or Woody (which are at least names!) or the thought of actually having twins! Maybe I'm happy with just my two kids after all!

Names, Names, Names!

I wish I were one of those people who could name their kids whatever they liked and didn't care what people thought. I am becoming one of those people but very slowly. I have a friend who named her firstborn Fabien and I wondered if she was losing her mind, though of course I never told her that, I obviously said I adored it! (I'm a excellent friend like that!) Fabien is now 4 and he suits his name perfectly. She just recently had her 3rd baby and called him Ephraim, I hardly batted an eye because I know as I get to know this child I'll equally love his name.

Celebrities are in a league of their own when they name their kids and they ruthlessly just don't care. There's Gwyneth and Mr Coldplay with Apple and Moses, Ginger Spice with Bluebell Madonna and some woman who used to be in Eastenders called her daughter Tallulah. Any child's names are gonna sound normal in comparison to those.

I had planned during my mission for my Church that I'd name my girls after my most revered companions. So far our house only gets fueled with testosterone which is maybe a blessing because no offense to my most lovely friends but I'm not sure I could live with the names Jodi, Heidi, Amy and Alisha. Plus there is no chance I am reproducing 4 more times and I just couldn't leave one, two or three of them out. It just wouldn't be fair.

So, before we were even married we were talking about baby names with my in laws. We said we really liked the name Caleb for a boy. (I wish I could say that this is because of Caleb from the Bible but instead it's because of Caleb from the movie The Skulls, in my book hot guys and biblical characters have the same standing!) My in laws couldn't quite hide their utter dislike for it. Before I was even pregnant it became a family joke so much so that by the time we found out Thomas was a boy (I don't do surprises!) the name was utterly ruined for us. So then we had to find an alternative. I'd like to say I had some great reason to call him Thomas. I've always liked the idea of having a reason behind the name. For instance Thomas is the 4th generation of Siswick to have James as a middle name. He shares it with his Dad, Grandad and Great Grandad. So one day at work my mind was occupied with this very matter and I was addressing appointment cards for people to come and have CT scans. I addressed one to a Thomas somebody and decided then that we'd call our first baby that. Plus I knew the in laws would approve because they named their 6th child the very same thing. Of course the idea baffled other family members due to the fact that having two Thomas Siswick's in the family could cause some confusion. So far it hasn't. I always seem to bring the right Thomas home from church and from the in laws house. So far so good!

So during pregnancy number 2 we discussed names. Caleb was still ruined for us and we couldn't decide. One night we were calling out for Chinese. Rob wanted me to go pick it up and I wanted him to go. In the end I made a bargain that if he went he could choose the name for this baby. So he did. I chose his middle name after my father, David, and baby ended up being called Eli. I am frankly surprised by the amount of people who have never heard this name. Especially when they're religious people. Hello!!!!!! Do you not know the story of Hannah taking baby Samuel to Eli??

The thing that frustrates me most about Eli's name is that we named him such when alternative spelling of names is becoming ultra popular. This malarkey has been going on in the states for a while but here it is just getting up and running. So whenever we go some place new and they don't know Eli, he gets called Ellie. People think I'm just a hip parent who wanted to change the traditional spelling. Which would be fine if Eli were a girl but he's not. But still fairly routinely gets called a girls name. (No wonder he's so angry all the time!!) Like today we went to pick up some antibiotics for his ear infection we'd been to get his medication at this place before so they had his details handily on the computer.

While I was waiting the lady came out and said: "Is IT a boy?"
Me: (Thinking she's insane) "Yes (Isn't that obvious?)"
Lady:(Thinking I'm insane) "But he's called Ellie?!!"
Me: "No he's called Eli and he's a boy!"
Lady: "Oh you hadn't made that very clear......."

How clear am I supposed to make it? Enter every room saying, "This is my son ELI and he is a BOY, just to avoid any confusion on your behalf!" If only I had gone out for the Chinese that night this whole thing would never happen every time we go anywhere.

If only we had named him something normal like John!

What's in a Name?

Late last year I was driving somewhere with the kids I cannot recall the destination. Thomas sits in the front passenger seat and so he and I chat happily wherever we go. Anyhow this particular day he was confused as to how he had 2 Grandad's. So I tried to differentiate by using surnames. I explained he had Grandad Siswick and Grandad Fred (which isn't his surname at all but his first name) he seemed intrigued by this so I thought I'd take advantage and turn it into a special teaching moment about names.

I decided to do the Siswick side because frankly there are a gazillion of them so it made the task easier and provided consistency. I explained that Grandma's name is Grandma Siswick, Aunt Emma's name is Emma Siswick, Uncle Tom's name is Thomas Siswick (which you'd imagine would be a total giveaway). Anyhow I went through all the family members that have Siswick as a surname. Considering Rob's dad is one of 8 Siswicks and Rob is one of 6 you can imagine this was a lengthy task but I was dedicated to teaching my 2 year old about names so I didn't mind. I finished up with Mummy, Daddy and Eli Siswick.

The conversation ended like this:

Me: "Do you know what your name is?"

Thomas: "Yes!"

Me: "Clever boy Thomas, do you want to tell me?" (At this point bursting with glee that we'd just had a wonderful learning experience)

Thomas "OK"

Me: "Go on then, what's your name?"

Thomas: "Thomas.............the tank engine"

Clearly 10 minutes of explaining names can't compete with Thomas the tank engine. Thankfully now a few months on he knows he is Thomas Siswick, but when you ask him where he lives he simply replies "At my house!" despite numerous attempts to teach him our address. Oh well I guess he'll have grasped it in 3 months when I'm trying ot teach him something else.

And Newbie Makes Three!

This is Newbie, you may well be wondering whatever would possess a parent to call their child such a name, well worry not, his actual name is Thomas James but to us, he's just plain Newbie.

There is some lengthy evolution as to how we came to this name so here it is.

Rob adored Winnie the Pooh as a child, he has retained an (unhealthy?) liking for Kanga and Roo to this very day. So when Thomas was in utero he had the nickname of little Roo, anyhow the name stuck when he entered the world but soon evolved from Roo to Rooski, from Rooski to Shmooski, from Shmooski to Shmooby, from shmooby to Booby (not our finest parenting hour, calling out booby at the park. I think it took 10 years off my Father in laws life, seriously). We realised we couldn't be calling him Booby when he was 15, so we forced the evolution onto Newbie due to an newly acquired love for Scrubs, Doctor Cox particularly. So there it is, how Thomas became Newbie.

So Newbie joined our family on 27th January 2005, 3 weeks early due to some growth issues in utero but has thrived ever since. We were told prior to his conception that we'd never conceive without IVF but 2 years and 2 kids later we feel justifed in saying we don't think those NHS doctors know what they're on about. He weighed 4 pounds 14 Ounces, which is unimaginably small. I see babies twice his birthweight and think they're teeny tiny now.

Anyhow our biggest boy just turned 3 and is a total joy! (Even more so now that he is toilet trained...hoorah!) He loves football, cars and trains. Daddy is his absolute hero, I'm somewhere down the list below Grandma, Nanny, Nanny's dog Max, his friend Neve and my Sister in law Emma's boyfriend Joel who he has probably spent 10 hours in total with. That's loyalty for you, eh? Typical.