Saturday, 9 May 2009

Pee, pee, pee, pee, all the way home.

You know we have never gotten around to teaching our boys to pee standing up.

I'd always figured that considering the bathroom is a place of zero privacy they'd kind of see their father in action and follow suit eventually.

In the mean time I was more than happy with them aiming at their target from the safety of a sitting position because they manage to somehow make enough mess that way without having free reign to spray all of the bathroom should they wish.

See, small things make me happy.

Fast forward to a walk home from school.

A walk that I have now forced Eli to endure despite his very loud protests because pushing an almost 3 year old in a pushchair up a 80 degree hill in my delicate condition is just not good for my blood pressure.

Or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse.

Truth is the kid is enormous and when he walks up that hill he sleeps like an angel which is good for his health and excellent for my mental health. Win-win.

We got about one twentieth of the way home one day and Thomas informs me he needs to pee. This is a frequent conversation on the journey home and I tell him he should have gone two minutes ago at school and now he'll just have to wait until we get home.

He lingers behind sulking. Eli stays with him. After all misery does love company.

Thomas shouts 'It's OK. I'll go right here' and before I have a chance to inform him that dogs are just about the only species for whom it is acceptable to pee in the street. He has his pants half way down his little white bottom, wilbsy liberated in the front and he pees into the bushes.

Completely horrified but knowing there isn't a right lot I can do to stop him in mid stream. I say a frantic silent prayer that the good Lord will render all 3 of us completely invisible, possibly forever.

You know because there are 650 pupils in Thomas's school and ours is a popular route home.

Just when I start to convince myself that maybe I won't have to move to some remote Scottish island with just sheep for company and where nobody will have heard about the boy who pees in the street because it probably wasn't even that noticeable really. I hear another little voice announce 'Me pee too!' as Eli in his newly potty trained fervour replicates his brothers actions perfectly.

But fails to be even slightly discreet.

Needless to say we avoided the walk home for a while and I took the car instead.

If only it had blacked out windows.

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18 lovely comments:

Lauren W said...

Hahaha! That seems like such a "boy" thing! It's just too funny :) I love how Eli just went right along with it :D

Cami said...

That's way too funny! I can just see them. It's such a little boy thing to do though, they're all proud of their anatomy, even at such a young age!

Melissa said...

Oh my! I probably would have been dying of embarrasment as well!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Boys will be boys! And peeing in the bushes is a rite of passage. Welcome to manhood Thomas!

Claire said...

Hahaha... they joys of having boys, tht i will never know. Sad.

EmmaP said...

i would have laughed so hard that i probably would have PEED my pants! esp if I were pregnant!

TravAndToni said...

Add this to your "ammunition" list. One day - they will have girls they like, and nothing tests a girl's "mom's approvability" like weathering the pee and poo of youth stories.

Apparently they have both figured out the upright aiming position!

Anti-Supermom said...

Hilarious. I loved the ending, wishing you had black out windows.

I'm the same - but wishing they were on the house :)

Dana said...

Ah, yes. They just LOVE to pee outside. Hunter started doing it more after we made him pee by the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. Now he's often pulling down his pants in parking lots when we're loading up the car. Usually he's halfway done before I realize what he's doing.

Science PhD Mom said...

LOL!! I think it's inevitable, Carol--just one of those things with boys! At least you will get a change with #3. How is your energy level these days?

Krystyn said...

That is hilarious!

And, hey...at least you didn't have to teach them!

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

hahaha! I'm sure I'll be experiencing this same scenario with Noah very soon. :)

p.s. how are you feeling? Are the boys getting excited to meet their new little sister?

AMY said...

Look at it this way, potty breaks at inconvenient times are so mich easier with a boy...at least they can stand up (hopefully behind a tree at least) and be done with it. Girls are a pain! No matter how hard I try, Addisyn always ends up peeing on herself if we are somewhere there is no bathroom. Boys are so much less maintenance! :)

Susan said...

Dying laughing over here! Why? Because I have one of those boys too! He whipped down his pants in a park awhile back while we were there on a playdate with other kids and moms. Yeah, I was only a little embarrassed.

Marla said...

beauty of boys... congrats on the bun in the oven... obviously i've been gone a while ;)

Shauna said...

I am new here! What a great blog :)

Lynette said...

LMAO.... the fun things boys will do. And to think that's something they NEVER outgrow.

I ONCE asked a friend to take my then 3 yr. old son to the bathroom. Know where he took him? The nearest tree. And there was a bathroom within eyesight!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I know I've been away forever but what an awesome post to come back to! Ahhhh the joys of having boys. I wish I could pull something off like this with Imp, but alas, dainty little thing she is, that would never fly!