In Loving Memory……

[Whispers] Hello, is anybody out there?

Silence.

[Shouts] Hey! Where is everyone?

Silence.

As I am sure you can imagine brimming with anticipation on returning to blogging I excitedly went on a whistle-stop tour of all my favourite blogs. Of which there were many.

Eager to catch up on all I’ve missed since Libby was born and attempted to suck out all my will to live by never, ever sleeping.

Sadly, I found lots of this,

Only to be expected I guess, and obviously I would’ve been invited if I hadn’t carelessly neglected my blog for quite so long.

But I also found lots of this,

Gasp!

I really mean it, GASP!!!!

Too many of the blogs I loved and followed are not even in existence anymore.

It’s like while I was absent completely unbeknown to me there was some kind of tragic blog holocaust.

Whole blogging civilisations wiped out with absolutely no explanation.

Sob!

I find myself feeling a bit like this guy,

See the sadness in his eyes?

That’s exactly what my eyes look like right now!

Those few who remain almost without exception seem to be super-bloggers now attracting millions of visitors and blogging on a scale I never even new was possible.

So here I am, a Wall-E emerging from a blog holocaust (though for certain I’ll be doing a lot less cleaning up than that guy!)

I guess it’s time to make some new friends.

Anyone?

I Bid You Adieu!

Last night I said goodbye to my friend of 10 years, Lisa. Obviously it involved plenty of tears and me sobbing as I drove home alone. I really do not appreciate her leaving coinciding with the worst possible part of my menstrual cycle. I did not stand a chance of having any control over my emotions.

But as I was reflecting back on the last ten years I figured it worthy of preserving here in post form.

So this one is for you Lisa (or Isa as my kids call you!)

We met in 1998 when I moved to the truly beautiful city of York shortly after my mission. I didn't know if we would be great friends from the start but it soon emerged that we would be. I remember you coming to stay at our house and we bonded over baking. Not any normal baking mind you, but the kind where you you sling in any number of shades of food colouring in an attempt to make the cake pleasing to the eye.

With that in mind I shouldn't have been surprised when you bought this beauty to our Halloween party last year.

• You begged me to tell you all my crazy missionary tales (I happened upon a guy that was convinced he was my dad, and several others who thought we should get married. To the mentally disturbed people of this earth I was super attractive for those 18 months that I laboured as a missionary for my church) and I only did so after you eventually convinced me that you had no desire whatsoever to serve a mission yourself. Then despite hearing my crazy adventures you decided the very next day you wanted to go on a mission. Well at least I had prepared you for what possibly lay ahead.
• You always dressed however you liked (which was helped by the fact that you could make your own clothes) and didn't care what others thought. I remember the Ewok dress with such fondness. (Yep, a furry brown creation covering both front and back.)
• When you came back from your mission in Scotland and we lived on Adelphi Road you drove me crazy always misplacing your key but I wish I had been there to see you having to climb out of the window.
• Nobody loves baths as much as us.
• You are the only person in my life ever to have any interest in Science. I loved that I'd come home and you'd want to know what I'd learned at Uni that day. Even to the point where you read my cloning book from start to finish which is something even I never did.
• I am amazed I survived your lack of kitchen diligence. I lost count of the times I came home to the hob being ignited but you nowhere in site. My personal favourite was the time the hob was ignited with a baking tray on top and a tea towel in the baking tray. Can you say impending death?

• You watched Save the last dance so many times I actually started to worry that you thought it was real life.
• Your cookery skills left a lot to be desired (I know they are improved now). I remember you having cooked yourself dinner and coming into my room. On your plate you had beetroot, corn, korma sauce and a naan bread. You generously asked if I wanted any. The answer was a definite no.
• It amused me no end when you would get a bus and a train all the way to Leeds for a bagel with cream cheese, simply because you didn't realise Philadelphia was cream cheese and you could have made you own at home for a fraction of the cost.
• I laughed when you told me you thought you were convinced you must be pregnant because you had had special sex.
• You almost ruined Rob's proposal by insisting you come along, thanks to Martyn for saving the day.
• You made my wedding dress and were the only person who supported my decision to buy the uber expensive silk duchess satin. I loved our evenings making it in your bedroom while we watched Doctor Zhivago, Pride and Prejudice and you corrupted me into liking Sex and the city
  
• While I wrestled through blood, sweat and tears getting my dissertation finished for all those months you dated Rob for me. Going to football matches and watching boy films.
• You are the only person I know that had a baby and was immediately wanting to get pregnant again.
• I love you for making me look good by then having your kids exactly 12 months apart, so when I had mine 16 months apart I didn't look nearly so crazy.
  

• You made me look like a good driver. Your passing fifth time eclipsed my terrible record of passing fourth time.
• You are the only other person I know who is happy to consider chocolate as breakfast and to be fair we both look pretty good for doing so.
• You laughed it off when three people asked you if you were pregnant in 24 hours. Though you did join weight watchers shortly afterwards.
• After you had phoebe you told me it didn't hurt at all and only stung a little when her head crowned and you didn't have an epidural. When I had Eli I found out that couldn't have been true.
• Remember when we were both reading Wild Swans and wanting to talk about it without ruining it for the other?
  

• I will never be able to see that picture by Jack Vettriano without thinking of you.
• You are the only person in England to appreciate The Skulls like I do.
  

Truly there are just too many memories to record. But I have them and I cherish them in my heart. When we all ended up getting married in 2003 I happily imagined our future of raising all our kids close by to each other. Our kids growing up to be as close as we are. I never envisioned any of us moving away at all.

But now Utah beckons for you all.

I just want you to know that I will not be easy to replace,

and that we will miss you!

Splashing Out

Remember this tiny paddling pool my mum got the boys? (Of course you do, you all mocked it!)

Well when she actually saw that it wasn't really fit for anything other than bathing a mouse (or any rodent really) she was thoroughly ashamed of her purchase and instead went and got them one more suited to their needs. (Thanks Nanny, you are the best!)









Of course the combination of a broken arm and zero sunshine had forced us to put our new paddling pool in the loft (which Thomas insists on calling an attic, thanks to Max & flaming Ruby) and dream of the sunny day that would hopefully one day come and enable us to fully enjoy it.

Well today was THE day.

After lots of blowing (mostly by Rob) and filling up (entirely by me) our friends arrived and we (meaning the children) played happily in a pool big enough to accommodate more than a rodent.

Of course Rob came home and put the kids big slide into the pool and everyone had a fabulous time.

My gift didn't even go into overdrive.

Because what is the worst that could happen? A broken arm? (OK maybe a broken and profusely bleeding head but I'll happily overlook that.)

Well we've already been there and it wasn't so bad.

Secret Crush

This last weekend while I was enjoying a slumber party with my closest friends (which incidentally is a sentence I'm not sure a lady in her 30's should ever be typing, but still...) we came to the realisation we all harboured a secret crush. Who was the object of our desires you are probably wondering. Well, I shall tell you....

Gordon Ramsey

See, that's why it's a 'secret' crush.

We know he is not an orthodox hunk by any standards (and he's not about to replace David Beckham as the numero uno object of my affections, behind Rob obviously!) but their is just a certain something about Mr Ramsey that makes him quite yummy indeed.

Yes, despite his endless swearing and wrinkled brow and the fact that I have read his biography and learned that he wasn't at the births of any of his 4 children or even changed a single nappy just because he didn't really fancy it. (I wish childbirth and nappies were an optional parenting extra for me too, alas not so though!)

So are we the only girls in the world harbouring this crush or is the rest of female civilisation keeping it a secret too? Spill the beans.

Sisters, Sisters.....

Check us out! Me and my sisters.

Can you see the family resemblance? No?

Well that would be because we're not actually sisters at all.

BUT, if I could choose myself some sisters from all my friends here (obviously I'd choose myself a completely different set of sisters across the pond!) these are the girls I'd go with.

Without a doubt.

(Lisa, Dawn, Heidi and me)

You are probably wondering why are these girls special enough to have such an honour bestowed upon them.

Simple, they just are.

In the last ten years,

We have been housemates,

We have been shoulders to cry on,

We have been bridesmaids and spoken at each others weddings,

We have managed to produce 9 of the most attractive children ever seen (though our husbands were slightly useful in that endeavour too!)

We have loved like sisters,

We have fought like sisters,

We have laughed like sisters,

and we have forgiven like sisters.

Sadly after spending a decade living in such close proximity two of our number are leaving. (Rude, I know!)

Lisa is headed to Utah with husband Stuart where he is going to be doing his PhD and she is gonna pretty much live a life of reproduction, quilting and shopping. She is the most technically challenged person I know so I fear Blogdom is sadly beyond her. I hope she surprises me!

And Heidi is heading southward to Solihull (only two hours away) but far enough away to feel sorry for ourselves.

A stroll down a decades memory lane......

(Slightly mutilated picture)

So to mark the end of an era we booked ourselves into a Travelodge last night and stayed up late eating Chinese food, laughing, looking at old pictures and talking.

Bizarrely when given an opportunity for a sublime good nights sleep we stayed up until 4am chatting (with Lisa passing out around 2am, she was always the lightweight!) and learned that we're just too old to survive on 4 hours of sleep anymore. Though it was the norm for us all back in the day. (8pm the next day and I am truly the walking dead!)
We did some of this.....
and this......
and this......
and even some of this!

But mostly we just wondered why we had never done this before and regularly!

For Heidi.....

My friend Heidi who is one of my favourite people in all the world not to mention totally hilarious (I have to suck up to some degree because she may never forgive me for this post!) has an incredibly morbid fear of both alligators and crocodiles. I'm OK with that we all have our fears, right?

With Gladiators back on TV Rob and Thomas have adopted it as 'their show' (which is an improvement on The Simpson's at least I guess, Bart isn't the best role model after all. But then again adults beating the living daylights out of each other is hardly a vast improvement either).

Thomas looks forward to it all week long.

All we hear is........

"Is Alligators on yet?"

So there you have it, Heidi, I may very well have ruined Gladiators for you forever.

I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

The Wonderful Wisdom of Wise Women

Last night I went out for pizza and a movie with friends. One of the friends was Rob's cousins pregnant wife Katie and the other was one of my closest friends in all the world, Dawn.

We chatted away like girls do and eventually the topic turned to childbirth (Rob will think this was inevitable because whenever I go out with friends this topic comes up, it is never initiated by me and I can't think of anything I'd like to discuss less whilst eating). It was only to be expected really when in the presence of a person almost 36 weeks pregnant with their first child. We were the seasoned voice of experience after all, we were providing a service really, she is hundreds of miles from home and her mother in law just left to live in China. So we figured who better to offer her support and calm her fears in preparation for labour than us.

Now thinking about it when Dawn and I were housemates we were loved by our fellow housemates (to this very day!) but they have admitted they found us, sarcastic, mean and a little bit (okay a big bit!) too harsh in our teasing when we were together. Individually apparently we were just lovely all the time. So, who better to offer you advice on the eve of you bringing another person into the world. Who wouldn't want reassurance from us when you're facing a potentially terrifying ordeal?

Despite our well meaning intentions this is how it went:

Dawn: (Mother of two girls, excels at keeping the baby in until week 41 or even 42, brave/stupid enough to survive childbirth without an epidural) "All I'm saying is if you think you're coping with the pain ok that's great. But just know that the pain is gonna get 50 to a 100 times worse before you are through and then when you realise you can't cope it'll be too late for an epidural. I wish I had an epidural with Hannah because the pain was just awful, in fact I was completely traumatised afterwards".

Me: (Mother of two boys, survivor of one C-Section and one induced labour, complete wimp in the face of pain) "If you're ruling out an epidural because you're scared of the needle and the pain associated with it, just know that the pain of giving birth far outweighs the pain of the epidural."

Needless to say if she wasn't terrified before she definitely will be now.

Our intentions were well meaning but I think pregnant people everywhere should probably have an injunction taken out against us.