The One Where I Get Sentimental

Recently I read 'for one more day' by Mitch Albom, it had been stashed under my bed for months and months where I keep my vast collection of unread books. I love Mitch Albom's books (if you haven't read Tuesdays with Morrie or the five people you meet in heaven you really must) but they always give me so much to think about and reflect upon, and to be honest in my life right now which is best described as utter chaos I have little enough time for actually reading. Thinking and reflecting are luxuries I definitely don't have time for.

But I pulled out for one more day and I was hooked within minutes. As I read one line struck me deeply and has been on my mind ever since,

And I realised when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.

Isn't that just perfectly true?

As I have pondered I have thought about how grateful to my own mother I am, and how it wasn't until I had my very own children that I realised finally, fully and completely, how much she actually must love me. Ever since I experienced a feeling of love so deeply overwhelming that there are no words to actually describe it, as I held my very own infant in my arms (even if they were a bit on the hairy side) and felt love grow and mature I have felt both humbled and amazed to realise that my mother had had those exact same feelings of love and dedication for me every single day of my life.

I thought about the pure love I feel for my boys and how everyday I am amazed by this unconditional love I have for them, (and they're both at totally unreasonable ages and push my love to its limits at times) and the amazing beings they are.

As they both grew inside me and I felt the first flutterings of life a relationship began that I never imagined could be so wonderfully powerful.

I know I will never be a perfect mum and I know they will never be perfect children. Neither of those things exist, anywhere. We can but do our best.

But my love for them will always be pure and in my eyes they will always be perfect.

I Bid You Adieu!

Last night I said goodbye to my friend of 10 years, Lisa. Obviously it involved plenty of tears and me sobbing as I drove home alone. I really do not appreciate her leaving coinciding with the worst possible part of my menstrual cycle. I did not stand a chance of having any control over my emotions.

But as I was reflecting back on the last ten years I figured it worthy of preserving here in post form.

So this one is for you Lisa (or Isa as my kids call you!)

We met in 1998 when I moved to the truly beautiful city of York shortly after my mission. I didn't know if we would be great friends from the start but it soon emerged that we would be. I remember you coming to stay at our house and we bonded over baking. Not any normal baking mind you, but the kind where you you sling in any number of shades of food colouring in an attempt to make the cake pleasing to the eye.

With that in mind I shouldn't have been surprised when you bought this beauty to our Halloween party last year.

• You begged me to tell you all my crazy missionary tales (I happened upon a guy that was convinced he was my dad, and several others who thought we should get married. To the mentally disturbed people of this earth I was super attractive for those 18 months that I laboured as a missionary for my church) and I only did so after you eventually convinced me that you had no desire whatsoever to serve a mission yourself. Then despite hearing my crazy adventures you decided the very next day you wanted to go on a mission. Well at least I had prepared you for what possibly lay ahead.
• You always dressed however you liked (which was helped by the fact that you could make your own clothes) and didn't care what others thought. I remember the Ewok dress with such fondness. (Yep, a furry brown creation covering both front and back.)
• When you came back from your mission in Scotland and we lived on Adelphi Road you drove me crazy always misplacing your key but I wish I had been there to see you having to climb out of the window.
• Nobody loves baths as much as us.
• You are the only person in my life ever to have any interest in Science. I loved that I'd come home and you'd want to know what I'd learned at Uni that day. Even to the point where you read my cloning book from start to finish which is something even I never did.
• I am amazed I survived your lack of kitchen diligence. I lost count of the times I came home to the hob being ignited but you nowhere in site. My personal favourite was the time the hob was ignited with a baking tray on top and a tea towel in the baking tray. Can you say impending death?

• You watched Save the last dance so many times I actually started to worry that you thought it was real life.
• Your cookery skills left a lot to be desired (I know they are improved now). I remember you having cooked yourself dinner and coming into my room. On your plate you had beetroot, corn, korma sauce and a naan bread. You generously asked if I wanted any. The answer was a definite no.
• It amused me no end when you would get a bus and a train all the way to Leeds for a bagel with cream cheese, simply because you didn't realise Philadelphia was cream cheese and you could have made you own at home for a fraction of the cost.
• I laughed when you told me you thought you were convinced you must be pregnant because you had had special sex.
• You almost ruined Rob's proposal by insisting you come along, thanks to Martyn for saving the day.
• You made my wedding dress and were the only person who supported my decision to buy the uber expensive silk duchess satin. I loved our evenings making it in your bedroom while we watched Doctor Zhivago, Pride and Prejudice and you corrupted me into liking Sex and the city
  
• While I wrestled through blood, sweat and tears getting my dissertation finished for all those months you dated Rob for me. Going to football matches and watching boy films.
• You are the only person I know that had a baby and was immediately wanting to get pregnant again.
• I love you for making me look good by then having your kids exactly 12 months apart, so when I had mine 16 months apart I didn't look nearly so crazy.
  

• You made me look like a good driver. Your passing fifth time eclipsed my terrible record of passing fourth time.
• You are the only other person I know who is happy to consider chocolate as breakfast and to be fair we both look pretty good for doing so.
• You laughed it off when three people asked you if you were pregnant in 24 hours. Though you did join weight watchers shortly afterwards.
• After you had phoebe you told me it didn't hurt at all and only stung a little when her head crowned and you didn't have an epidural. When I had Eli I found out that couldn't have been true.
• Remember when we were both reading Wild Swans and wanting to talk about it without ruining it for the other?
  

• I will never be able to see that picture by Jack Vettriano without thinking of you.
• You are the only person in England to appreciate The Skulls like I do.
  

Truly there are just too many memories to record. But I have them and I cherish them in my heart. When we all ended up getting married in 2003 I happily imagined our future of raising all our kids close by to each other. Our kids growing up to be as close as we are. I never envisioned any of us moving away at all.

But now Utah beckons for you all.

I just want you to know that I will not be easy to replace,

and that we will miss you!

I used to.....

This week all week I am on holiday (please don't come burgle us!) in Wales with Rob's extended family, ALL of them. Well with 5 out 8 of my father in laws siblings and their families. Obviously it will rain all week long and we'll get on each others nerves constantly. But that's only to be expected when you choose Wales as a holiday destination. It is after all hardly the Caribbean.

So I'd thought I'd take this opportunity to recycle some older posts (courtesy of scheduled posting!) that I wrote when I was pretty much the only person reading my blog!

Enjoy!

I used to have rock hard abs despite doing no exercise, now I look at my stomach and wonder if I even have abs at all.

I used to look forward to the weekend because it was free time for fun stuff, now I look forward to the weekend because I have an extra pair of hands at my disposal for 48 hours.

I used to think I was legitimately tired before I had kids, now I know I wasn't tired at all but actually perfectly well rested.

I used to know exactly how Dolly the sheep was cloned, now I only remember that she was called Dolly because she was cloned from udder cells.

I used to read plenty of books educating my mind constantly, now I read about how Dinosaurs say goodnight and Gruffalo's.

I used to wear PJ's all day because I could, now I wear PJ's all day because sometimes there is no window of opportunity to get dressed.

I used to judge Mothers who had kids with dried snot on their face, now I know some days it's an achievement to get the little monkeys dressed let alone clean.

I used to think I'd never bribe my kids, now I know the power of a small piece of chocolate.

I used to know the whole Periodic Table of Elements, now I know every single train from Thomas the Tank Engine.

I used to love going to the movies, now I like watching Cars, Toy Story and Peter Pan on DVD with the boys even if it is for the millionth time.

I used to do 3 loads of washing a week, now I do 8.

I used to go to the toilet alone with the door closed, now I have trouble remembering to shut the door when I'm at someone else's house.

I used to take pride in my appearance, now I take pride in my kids.

I used to eat all my dinner by myself and while it was hot, now I get to eat it when it's cold and still have to share.

I used to think I'd have 4 or 5 kids, now I think I'll have 3.

I used to think I couldn't love another child as much as my first, now I know I was wrong.

I used to enjoy 10 hours sleep a night, now I don't remember what that feels like.

I used to think I was happy, Now I know what happiness really is.

Sisters, Sisters.....

Check us out! Me and my sisters.

Can you see the family resemblance? No?

Well that would be because we're not actually sisters at all.

BUT, if I could choose myself some sisters from all my friends here (obviously I'd choose myself a completely different set of sisters across the pond!) these are the girls I'd go with.

Without a doubt.

(Lisa, Dawn, Heidi and me)

You are probably wondering why are these girls special enough to have such an honour bestowed upon them.

Simple, they just are.

In the last ten years,

We have been housemates,

We have been shoulders to cry on,

We have been bridesmaids and spoken at each others weddings,

We have managed to produce 9 of the most attractive children ever seen (though our husbands were slightly useful in that endeavour too!)

We have loved like sisters,

We have fought like sisters,

We have laughed like sisters,

and we have forgiven like sisters.

Sadly after spending a decade living in such close proximity two of our number are leaving. (Rude, I know!)

Lisa is headed to Utah with husband Stuart where he is going to be doing his PhD and she is gonna pretty much live a life of reproduction, quilting and shopping. She is the most technically challenged person I know so I fear Blogdom is sadly beyond her. I hope she surprises me!

And Heidi is heading southward to Solihull (only two hours away) but far enough away to feel sorry for ourselves.

A stroll down a decades memory lane......

(Slightly mutilated picture)

So to mark the end of an era we booked ourselves into a Travelodge last night and stayed up late eating Chinese food, laughing, looking at old pictures and talking.

Bizarrely when given an opportunity for a sublime good nights sleep we stayed up until 4am chatting (with Lisa passing out around 2am, she was always the lightweight!) and learned that we're just too old to survive on 4 hours of sleep anymore. Though it was the norm for us all back in the day. (8pm the next day and I am truly the walking dead!)
We did some of this.....
and this......
and this......
and even some of this!

But mostly we just wondered why we had never done this before and regularly!