You know you're completely out of the blogging loop when you log in on blogger and it kindly informs you that you have 261 unmoderated comments. For a mere second I let it go to my head a tiny bit and felt tres popular indeed. Right until I scanned the comments prior to moderation and found each and every one to be completely identical, all offering me Viagra.
Viagra? Are you kidding me? I have 3 kids, the smallest of which it appears failed to read our family sleeping policy prior to arrival in chez Siswick and is killing me slowly, mostly a brain cell at a time. I think I'm likely down to approximately 12 remaining right now.
I need a pill to keep me awake in the morning and another to put me to sleep at night preferably for at least 8 gloriously solid hours. Viagra I can live without, it is surplus to requirements here.
But is this what the blogosphere has come to in my absence? Spam comments? Uncool.
It was a humbling moment when I came to the realisation that if I neglected one of my kids as badly as I have neglected my lovely blog these last 12 months or so social services would've intervened long, long ago. Surely my blog is as worthy of my love as my offspring?
So I have used up all my paltry excuses for not blogging:
I'm pregnant and tired-check.
I just had a baby and am even more tired-check.
I fell over because I was so tired and fractured my shoulder-check.
I can hardly string a sentence together due to combined tiredness from pregnancy, having a baby, fracturing my shoulder and having to contend with dear sweet beautiful Libby whose single goal in life is to ensure I never get a good nights sleep-check.
No more excuses people, I'm back on the blog.
And I mean it!
That is my only New Year Resolution.
Now that my firstborn is in full time school he frequently comes home with his jumper generously spattered with stickers in recognition of his good works and impeccable behaviour.
Obviously I always feel a smug glow of pride when he comes out adorned with stickers while other parents pick up their kids who aren't so beautifully decorated. (No doubt that'll be me next year picking up Eli, he's just not all that bothered about making people happy like our Thomas).
Of course in school I was always the model of perfect classroom etiquette (when I wasn't idly chatting to my classmates and ignoring the teacher of course) so I think Thomas is just following in my footsteps.
The other day as we were collecting his coat I enquired as to why he'd received a sticker of a dinosaur that said 'excellent-saurus'.
"I had the tidiest pile".
"What?"
"When we got changed for PE and had to leave our clothes tidy my pile was the very tidy one".
(Completely bewildered) "Oh, right!"
"Cos some of those kids just are not good at being tidy".
And that behaviour he did not get from me.
But I'm hoping it's contagious because my house would really benefit from a healthy dose of that.
(On a tangent I just barely got around to removing the 'your pregnancy' widget. Imagine my horror when I just checked it only to find I'd neglected it so long it was telling me I was 7 weeks pregnant all over again! I'd rather fracture my other shoulder than be pregnant all over again).
Imagine the scene.
A young(ish) Mother's first day with all 3 kidlets all by herself.
The 4 year old gets to school, clean, dressed and on time.
The 3 year old gets to nursery, somewhat clean, dressed and on time, albeit reluctantly.
The Mother delights in her efficiency and arrives home with 2 week old baby in tow feeling like maybe life isn't gonna be the chaotic existence she imagined after all.
She gazes at her sleeping baby and glances at her watch. She has time to quickly overhaul the house and get things all shiny clean and super tidy before the baby needs feeding then she can indulge in uninterrupted baby time before the 3 year old needs collecting.
Bliss, yes?
Until the part where the completely excellent Mother falls over who knows what bashing her head and fracturing her shoulder.
And that, friends, is why I'm never cleaning again.
(I wish I had it caught on camera because that tumble would be truly hilarious to watch I am sure, just saying!)
