Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Letters, Laxatives & ?

Dear Thomas,

Lets make ourselves a little agreement. From now on unless informed otherwise by your good self I'll just assume that you would like every toy on every advertisement you see between now and Christmas. Not having the same conversation 3681 times every day will help keep me on the verge of sanity which I'd greatly appreciate.

I have to say when you told me you wanted that shampoo for Christmas, that was a low point.

I think you might have fallen over the materialistic edge of Christmas. I think it is time to overdose on our nativity books to get you back on track.

Love mum

*******

I am intrigued by the laxative effect playing with cars appears to have on Eli's bowels. Without fail if he plays cars for longer than a few minutes it kicks his intestines into overdrive. If only we had known what we know now when Thomas suffered with excruciating constipation for 18 months. Ah well, you live and learn.

*******

Not to brag (well maybe a little) last night I got Christmas wrapped up and all stored in the loft. The kids were beginning to get a bit suspicious of odd shaped packages appearing around the house. Only 4 more presents to buy. Yay!

******

Dear Sweet cute brown eyed but incredibly devilish Eli,

If you could not throw a massive tantrum every single day when we have to leave Thomas at school I'd really appreciate it. Especially on those days when just ten minutes before I was picking you up from playgroup after a 3 hour stint where you got to do all the exact same things you are so enamoured with at Thomas' school, on those days I find your behaviour beyond unreasonable.

Frankly I could live without my hefty daily dose of humiliation. Nobody else's younger sibling gives an ounce of resistance about leaving. Clearly you are trying to make up for them all.

I don't really appreciate the fact that everybody stares like we're a car crash as I have to physically remove your screaming, crying self from the building while all the parents are no doubt thanking their lucky stars that you're not their child and the staff are probably making a mental note to look for new employment by January 2010 when you'd be in their class.

Come on kid, give me a break.

Love mum

*******

Tonight we start choir rehearsals for our Carol service at church. I signed up immediately. Don't get me wrong I am not a great singer. I know that. But still I can be found in my car belting the hits out like no ones business. But if nothing else at least my paltry singing talents will make the rest of the choir look good. Plus biggest bonus of all I have to it on the stand in church for the duration of the Carol service, so when December 21st rolls around I will have a child free church experience. Bliss!

*******

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19 lovely comments:

jennie w. said...

Or maybe you just signed up for the choir because of your name, right?

Mrs. Newlywed said...

This was one of the funniest posts I have ever read.

Seriously. I was dying.

Leslie said...

omg..... this is too cute. I love your letters! And I feel that same pain. Oh the joys of motherhood~ Stop by my blog, I have something there for ya!

LadyFi said...

Hilarious to read about the tantrum... I know it's awful, I've been there with BOTH the kids. Their favourite trick was to refuse to leave somewhere and then when my husband threw them over his shoulder (one at a time), they would yell at the top of their voices (but only in crowded places): Stop hitting me! Stop hitting me!

Now that was embarrassing!

Melissa said...

Kendra has been doing exactly what Thomas has been doing! Now I know why my parents always asked us, "Do you think that money just grows on trees?"! And yah, I'd say that asking for the shampoo was a low moment as well! LOL!

A kid free church experience.... That sounds like a dream! Where do I sign up?! ;)

Tom and Sarah said...

That was so funny! Your kids are either going to love reading your blog when they get older, or will be traumatised, j/k:)!!! I wish my mum had done something like this - love it!!

Jen said...

I totally cracked up at the shampoo comment. Hilarious!

My son was the same way w/ the cars. True story: We put a little table in the bathroom so he could play cars while he went #2. It was a last resort since he was having so much trouble with potty training. It worked!

The White House said...

I really would love to get some great shampoo in my stocking this year... and jewelry. I love the laxative and car connection, that is so funny. Sorry I haven't been by lately, life has been wild!

Barbaloot said...

Okay...so at first with the Carol service, I was thinking it was a service for/about you:) That only lasted about two seconds...but still. It was funny.

Vashey Fam said...

I'm sorry, but I think Thomas is cute with the Santa stuff, and Eli....oh he just loves his brother! How could he *not* cry? Now, having said that, please remember I have only one child who is now 19 months! :o) Your post is hi-lar-i-ous!

Wendy said...

You are HILARIOUS!

Girl, sing your heart and have a blast!

anti-supermom said...

childless anywhere is worth it, right?! Sing it our loudly :)

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Almost all done with Christmas--WOW!

I am a great singer too-when alone in my car and no one can hear ;)

Claire said...

Hannah is our 'Eli'. I'm sick of hearing myself shouting her name on the trips to and from school.

"Hannah - hold on to the buggy"

"Hannah - don't run away"

"Hannah - watch out for the cars"

I actually feel quite sorry for myself.

Laural Out Loud said...

Just last week I banned all cartoons but the Noggin network, which doesn't show commercials, because I couldn't take any more of the begging. And for ridiculous things. Well, and some cool things, too. But ARGHH!

EmmaP said...

i love all of this!!! hee hee hee. See, with my oldest, the play with cars ALWAYS led to a pee-your-pants episode...ALWAYS. and like you, I too get to have a child-free church experience. Singing with the choir on the stand...nice!

Science PhD Mom said...

I think the tantrums at leaving anything pleasurable are commonplace. Take it as a sign that he really loves being there. And just roll your eyes at the other parents, even if they don't admit it they have been there too.

the rogers blog said...

Ah I miss Eli. If you like I'll take him off your hands for a bit. Infact I'd have him forever If you let me!!

Mama Smurf said...

You are DONE Christmas shopping???!!! Shut UP! I haven't even started!

I'm the one that is up until 4am Christmas morning wrapping gifts in the basement.

I really need to change my ways.