Thursday, 14 January 2010

The Bad Parenting Chronicles: Episode 9

Considering I haven't chronicled my parenting faux pas since September 2008 you could be forgiven for thinking that either,

a. I have obviously learned from my mistakes and reached new supreme levels of parenting,

or b. I was just too lazy to blog about what a failure I am.

I know what you're thinking.......

It has to be B.

And you'd be right.

Here is a sterling example of how I haven't come any closer to achieving Super-Parent status.

I was 37 weeks pregnant.

We went to get the few (mostly pink) things left on our baby list.

Me, Rob, Thomas, Eli.

We lost Eli.

At one of the biggest shopping malls in all of England.

It turns out buying tiny pink clothing doesn't excite Eli.

He wandered off.

We panicked.

I ran the length of the place in my heavily pregnant state dragging a 4 year old in flip flops behind me. (Do you have any idea how hard it is for a 4 year old to sprint in flip flops? Or how amusing a 37 weeks pregnant woman looks running?)

After the longest phone conversation known to man between the customer services lady and the head of security it was confirmed he'd been located.

I nearly squeezed the life out of him.

And sadly it was in that moment that I realised that if that recipe of shock, panic and trauma coupled with the fastest running of my life didn't manage to dislodge that baby from my uterus then she was never gonna come out without being evicted.


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5 lovely comments:

Anna said...

Isn't that just the scariest thing - turning round to not see your child anywhere??! We went to an indoor play place today and Eliza went off somewhere and started screaming like she had hurt herself but I couldn't get to her because my big preggo belly stopped me getting through the twirly soft play things. Luckily a friend rescued her for me! I'm going to let Ben take them next time...

Barbaloot said...

I can't imagine what a horrifying feeling that must have been! Glad you found him!

AMY said...

That is seriously one of the worst feelings you can have. We recently lost Connor at the State Fair and it was awful. But at least you have something new to add to your Bad Parenting Chronicles and at least he doesn't like pink.

Wendi said...

So. scary.

Glad to see you back at the whole blogging thing.
I have missed you.
And your ability to make me snort Diet Coke out of my nose over a story about a lost child.
You. are. hilarious.

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

That is my absolute worst fear. What a relief to have found him. How scary! I am surprised you didn't go into labor right then and there. :P