Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Completely Mental with a side Order of Judgement

On November 20th I was driving home from work and noticed the unmistakable twinkliness (I am aware that isn't an actual word) of a Christmas tree illuminating someones front window.

Sure I was listening (and singing along) to Christmas music in my car but that's not the point is it?

Regardless, I judged the unknown occupants of that house because we all know November 20th is just too flaming early to have your Christmas tree up.

I recall guffawing at their stupidity because it was a living tree and it's chances of surviving until December 25th were highly unlikely.

Every day as I drove home I would stare in complete disbelief at their ridiculously early Christmas tree erection. Even when December 1st rolled around and I put our tree up (totally for the kids benefit of course) I still thought about those crazy folks on the next street who had beat me to it by 1o days.

Soon all the world was a place of twinkly lighted beauty and the ridiculously early Christmas decorators were lost from my thoughts.

New Years Day rolled around and we took our decorations down.

I noticed others must have done the same.

Gradually all the twinkly lights disappeared.

All the twinkly lights but one house.

The crazy folks house.

January 10th came around and their illuminated tree (which hadn't yet died as I predicted, apparently I do not possess the wealth of Christmas tree knowledge that I had previously assigned myself) still had pride of place in the window.

Surely this wasn't normal behaviour.

Then the cogs in my brain started turning. This definitely wasn't normal behaviour.

Obviously whoever occupied that house had died during the Christmas season.

Surely that was the only explanation as to why these people were still enjoying Christmas when the rest of us were anxiously anticipating the arrival of Spring.

On my birthday 3 days later. I noticed the tree was still there but not lit.

Evidence that the occupant was very much still alive, right?

Well that or they'd been dead for so long and hadn't paid their electricity bill that their supplier disconnected them.

A week on the tree still stood there sad and un-illuminated.

Several times I had to force myself not to share my theory with my friend who is a police officer (and has filled my mind of stories of decomposing corpses being eaten by their own pets) in the hopes that he'd go discover the truth and all would be right in the world once more.

Instead I just forced myself to drive by without looking at the house.

Today I looked.

The tree was gone and I came to the conclusion that the most likely explanation is simply that I am a massive drama queen.

The truth hurts!

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12 lovely comments:

EmmaP said...

or the family took it down when they arrived to prepare the body for the funeral!

Barbaloot said...

I hate when my thoughts lead to the conclusion that I'm a drama queen. So depressing, no?

But really-you should blame the crazy neighbors. Who leaves a tree up that long?

LadyFi said...

You're a lovely queen with a good imagination! ;-)

Jen said...

We should co-author a murder mystery. Between my serial killer neighbor, your dead Christmas tree one and our over-active imaginations, I think we could come up with something great!

Melissa said...

you know what? I probably would have thought the same thing, but wouldn't have been able to keep it to myself for so long! I for sure would have told my police officer friend (if I had one)!

I guess that means I'm a drama queen as well? :o)

Saskia said...

What a wonderful imagination you have!! I'm the same... but it drives me mad sometimes. Whole dramatic scenarios play out in my mind before I realise I'm probably being quite ridiculous!

AMY said...

It took that for you to figure out you are a drama queen? I could have told you that 11 years ago. :)

4funboys said...

always good for a smile anyway...

Wendy said...

I like a good mystery too. Seriously, we could have been separated at birth...minus a couple of years and an ocean a part! I could see me doing the same thing.

The White House said...

You are so funny. I am glad you didn't drive by my house on January 20th. I finally had to take ours down when the realtor listing our house gave it (or me?) a dirty look.

Claire said...

Or the pet had finished with the corpse and was looking for extra sustinence in the form of a christmas tree.

Heidi said...

Ditto to Amy. And Claire. Except, wow, she's morbid, right? I was going to say maybe someone else called in and the police finally came by and cleared the house out.

Don't you remember that time you called the police because Ernie wasn't answering the door? You have a gift for this kind of thing, dear.