Saturday, 2 August 2008

I Bid You Adieu!

Last night I said goodbye to my friend of 10 years, Lisa. Obviously it involved plenty of tears and me sobbing as I drove home alone. I really do not appreciate her leaving coinciding with the worst possible part of my menstrual cycle. I did not stand a chance of having any control over my emotions.

But as I was reflecting back on the last ten years I figured it worthy of preserving here in post form.

So this one is for you Lisa (or Isa as my kids call you!)

We met in 1998 when I moved to the truly beautiful city of York shortly after my mission. I didn't know if we would be great friends from the start but it soon emerged that we would be. I remember you coming to stay at our house and we bonded over baking. Not any normal baking mind you, but the kind where you you sling in any number of shades of food colouring in an attempt to make the cake pleasing to the eye.

With that in mind I shouldn't have been surprised when you bought this beauty to our Halloween party last year.


  • You begged me to tell you all my crazy missionary tales (I happened upon a guy that was convinced he was my dad, and several others who thought we should get married. To the mentally disturbed people of this earth I was super attractive for those 18 months that I laboured as a missionary for my church) and I only did so after you eventually convinced me that you had no desire whatsoever to serve a mission yourself. Then despite hearing my crazy adventures you decided the very next day you wanted to go on a mission. Well at least I had prepared you for what possibly lay ahead.
  • You always dressed however you liked (which was helped by the fact that you could make your own clothes) and didn't care what others thought. I remember the Ewok dress with such fondness. (Yep, a furry brown creation covering both front and back.)
  • When you came back from your mission in Scotland and we lived on Adelphi Road you drove me crazy always misplacing your key but I wish I had been there to see you having to climb out of the window.
  • Nobody loves baths as much as us.
  • You are the only person in my life ever to have any interest in Science. I loved that I'd come home and you'd want to know what I'd learned at Uni that day. Even to the point where you read my cloning book from start to finish which is something even I never did.
  • I am amazed I survived your lack of kitchen diligence. I lost count of the times I came home to the hob being ignited but you nowhere in site. My personal favourite was the time the hob was ignited with a baking tray on top and a tea towel in the baking tray. Can you say impending death?

  • You watched Save the last dance so many times I actually started to worry that you thought it was real life.
  • Your cookery skills left a lot to be desired (I know they are improved now). I remember you having cooked yourself dinner and coming into my room. On your plate you had beetroot, corn, korma sauce and a naan bread. You generously asked if I wanted any. The answer was a definite no.
  • It amused me no end when you would get a bus and a train all the way to Leeds for a bagel with cream cheese, simply because you didn't realise Philadelphia was cream cheese and you could have made you own at home for a fraction of the cost.
  • I laughed when you told me you thought you were convinced you must be pregnant because you had had special sex.
  • You almost ruined Rob's proposal by insisting you come along, thanks to Martyn for saving the day.
  • You made my wedding dress and were the only person who supported my decision to buy the uber expensive silk duchess satin. I loved our evenings making it in your bedroom while we watched Doctor Zhivago, Pride and Prejudice and you corrupted me into liking Sex and the city
  • While I wrestled through blood, sweat and tears getting my dissertation finished for all those months you dated Rob for me. Going to football matches and watching boy films.
  • You are the only person I know that had a baby and was immediately wanting to get pregnant again.
  • I love you for making me look good by then having your kids exactly 12 months apart, so when I had mine 16 months apart I didn't look nearly so crazy.
  • You made me look like a good driver. Your passing fifth time eclipsed my terrible record of passing fourth time.
  • You are the only other person I know who is happy to consider chocolate as breakfast and to be fair we both look pretty good for doing so.
  • You laughed it off when three people asked you if you were pregnant in 24 hours. Though you did join weight watchers shortly afterwards.
  • After you had phoebe you told me it didn't hurt at all and only stung a little when her head crowned and you didn't have an epidural. When I had Eli I found out that couldn't have been true.
  • Remember when we were both reading Wild Swans and wanting to talk about it without ruining it for the other?
  • I will never be able to see that picture by Jack Vettriano without thinking of you.
  • You are the only person in England to appreciate The Skulls like I do.

Truly there are just too many memories to record. But I have them and I cherish them in my heart. When we all ended up getting married in 2003 I happily imagined our future of raising all our kids close by to each other. Our kids growing up to be as close as we are. I never envisioned any of us moving away at all.

But now Utah beckons for you all.

I just want you to know that I will not be easy to replace,

and that we will miss you!

19 lovely comments:

Citoyen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chelle said...

Sending you (((hugs)))...I know how hard it is being across the world from that one person who "gets" you, understands you and is your best friend.
I loved this post, it sounds to me like you two have an amazing bond and friendship that not even distance will get in your way.

jOni lAnE said...

What a wonderful friendship. Sounds like you both need to rack up some frequent flier miles! :)

Krystyn said...

What awesome memories! You will have to come to the states to visit her; often.

The Rogers Blog said...

Flipping heck everyone knows what I've done!!! Oh well good job we can all change. Carol I loved your blog about us. I just laughed and cried all together! I looked like a jibbering wreck trying to tell stu!! You and dawnie and Heidi are the only ones who've seen all of me and loved me all the more. Thats true friendship. I'll love you always. As for replacing you, that will never happen. Theres no one who could ever come close.
We have had a million memories together and the great thing is we laughed thru most of them!! It's not gonna stop now either. Lifes just changing a bit. Stu needs puter now so I'll email when I get there. Love you always sweetheart. Lisa xxx PS Get Rob to distract Martyn, he's in bits. xxxx

Kristen said...

What a perfect friend!!

So sorry to hear that she is moving, hope you are able to fly to see her often or vice versa.

But seriously, honey, I can't get over how beautiful you are in your wedding gown!! And she made it?? WOW!! You two are a perfect team! :)

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

What a sweet tribute---hopefully you can visit Utah soon :)

dawnie said...

i new coming on your blog would be a mistake today, i'm crying again!!!

Melissa said...

aww.... Sorry that you're losing your dear friend to the USA! {{HUGS}} I don't know what I would do if my BFF was to move across the world from me! Lovely tribute! I feel like I know Lisa, just from reading this post.

P.S. I finally did the meme you tagged me for.

jennie w. said...

I hate when friends move. But now you have an excuse to go to Utah (just what you always wanted.) Your wedding dress is gorgeous.
Also I tagged you!

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Girl. What a beautiful post and tribute to such an amazing friendship. You sound like sisters and I know that even though you'll be far apart in distance, that kind of friendship is hard to break if you both work at it. I have to admit - I love my friends dearly and they are amazing, but what you've got with Lisa is something truly special. And she made your amazing wedding gown? You. look. stunning (I have a sneaking feeling I've seen that pic or something similar before, but I'm reminded of what a STUNNING (yes I'll keep using that word) bride you were!). She is lucky to have you for a friend!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

She sounds like a wonderful friend! I hope you can find someone to fill her shoes!

AMY said...

Lovely, that is so sad! You know that I'm always good for a cry, and that did it for me! I also hat when good friends move away. I do no like change. Good luck and hang in there!

anti-supermom said...

What a well written post. I hope that you are able to continue the friendship from afar.

Steph T. said...

Thanks for coming to visit me today, I hope you'll come back. I can't wait to spend some time reading your posts.

This post really got to me. I know how you feel (to a point), and I do miss one of my close friends who "got/gets" me. Just plan a regular visiting schedule, email/phone/in person...it'll help you alot!

And the wedding gown...AMAZING! Amazing!!!! And you're goregous!

Jen said...

My BFF lives 5 hours away. We only see each other once or twice a year because both of us are so busy with our kids, jobs, etc.. to do more. We have always had a long distance relationship and sometimes I wonder if that is what works best for us. Thankfully, in the world of facebook, blogs, email, etc.. you will be able to keep in touch much easier than it was 15 years ago.

Your wedding dress is GORGEOUS!! I love that she made it for you and that you were watching romantic movies while you worked on it. So sweet.

Kelli said...

What a great post. I'm sure your friend loved this trip down memory lane. It stinks when friends are so far away. My best friend and I live across the country from each other. I can't tell ya how grateful I am for telephones and email and airplanes (although I'm not a huge fan of flying). I just recently convinced her to start blogging and get on facebook too! She's probably going to get sick of me. haha!

Tiffany said...

What an amazing tribute to an amazing friend. Doesn't it sometimes suck to be a grown up? I often say that I would love to be in college again and have the minute amount of worries that I had then... but then I remember all the blessings that I have now and that I had none of them in college! Sufficeth to say, with greater blessings come greater challenges, but the blessings make getting to the other side of the challenges ever so sweet!

Hang in there.

Heidi said...

Hey, can we talk about Wild Swans?

Because I've read them and WHEW! Is that family full of good lovers or what?