Sunday, 14 February 2010

Be My Valentine…

Yes, it’s true I am officially smitten.

Thank you Microsoft for simplifying one area of my life.

Now if you could only excel your good selves and invent a program that gets Libby sleeping 12 hours a night I’d be forever in your debt.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

In Defence of Britney Spears

Well that was a title I never ever imagined giving a post, or even a single thought for that matter.

I think if we’re honest people we’re all still slightly disturbed about when Britney did this.

It wasn’t a good look.

I knew my old Dyson was on the fritz but didn’t realise quite how decrepit it was until we replaced it with a beautiful new Dyson and I got quite carried away with some celebratory vacuuming (I don’t know what it is about vacuuming with a Dyson but for me it is the most fulfilling housework I ever do, or maybe just the only housework I ever do?) and emptied the cylinder only to find enough hair to hairify (I know that's not a word or even a possibility but I’m sleep deprived so I really don’t care so much)about 12 bald men.

Previous to this Eli had gone to use the bathroom after I had showered (which was a delightful change, usually he likes to visit at least once per shower, another joy of parenthood) and exited the loo in a panic. On seeing my head wrapped in a towel his panic intensified.

“Mum, you showered all your hair off!”

I went to look and reassured him that I did have some hair left on my balding dome.

Post Partum hair loss sucks.

I leave a trail of long brown hairs wherever I go. I find them in very dubious places. I have thinning patches all over. My tresses are distressed.

Not tres glamorous.

Then I remembered dear troubled Mrs Federline as was, and that she had 2 kids really close together (which I still think wasn’t so much entirely intentional and more completely accidental, not that I’m judgmental, much) and I thought wowsers that post partum hair loss had to be really dreadful.

So maybe that’s why Brit buzzed all her hair off.

(If I could pull it off like Katherine Heigl in Grey’s I’d be tempted I’m telling you. But alas I would not be a beautiful baldy and I know it.)

Well that or that Brit really was just a total fruit loop.

Friday, 22 January 2010

The Wrong Side of Bed

The other night in an out of the ordinary attempt to avoid falling asleep Eli kept coming to ask me very important things (usually the kid is out like a light),

On what felt like the 43286th time that I heard little footsteps coming towards me down the hallway he asked "Mummy can I sleep the other way?".

I rolled my eyes and calmly said something along the lines of 'you can sleep any way you like as long as you are ASLEEP, GO TOOOO BED!!!!!!!!!'

Off he went and this is how we found him 2 hours later.......
His interpretation of sleeping the other way wasn't exactly what I expected.

And in case you're wondering. Yes. That is his hand down his pants.

He's all boy our Eli.

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Thursday, 14 January 2010

The Bad Parenting Chronicles: Episode 9

Considering I haven't chronicled my parenting faux pas since September 2008 you could be forgiven for thinking that either,

a. I have obviously learned from my mistakes and reached new supreme levels of parenting,

or b. I was just too lazy to blog about what a failure I am.

I know what you're thinking.......

It has to be B.

And you'd be right.

Here is a sterling example of how I haven't come any closer to achieving Super-Parent status.

I was 37 weeks pregnant.

We went to get the few (mostly pink) things left on our baby list.

Me, Rob, Thomas, Eli.

We lost Eli.

At one of the biggest shopping malls in all of England.

It turns out buying tiny pink clothing doesn't excite Eli.

He wandered off.

We panicked.

I ran the length of the place in my heavily pregnant state dragging a 4 year old in flip flops behind me. (Do you have any idea how hard it is for a 4 year old to sprint in flip flops? Or how amusing a 37 weeks pregnant woman looks running?)

After the longest phone conversation known to man between the customer services lady and the head of security it was confirmed he'd been located.

I nearly squeezed the life out of him.

And sadly it was in that moment that I realised that if that recipe of shock, panic and trauma coupled with the fastest running of my life didn't manage to dislodge that baby from my uterus then she was never gonna come out without being evicted.


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Friday, 8 January 2010

The Sleep Grinch

It would seem that my remaining loyal readers (all 6 of them), who didn't remove me from their google reader during my long sojourn in the blogging wilderness would like photographic evidence of our Libby aka little Roo, Lady May, Mayflower, Libskerino and approximately a trillion variations of each.

We're all about nicknames in the Siswick household.

So here she is:

2 weeks
10 weeks
14 weeks
Very 1st Christmas at 4 Months
She is now 4 months old (I almost accidentally put 14 months then, but that's just how long it actually feels like we've had her and how long it seems like since I had a good nights sleep) and adored slightly more each day.

She is currently a big fan of licking just about anything that gets within a tongues reach of her. Which we're hoping she outgrows before she starts school.

Oh and in response to this post. Her DNA was kind to her, no hairy back gene for Libby Mae.

Eli's on the other hand is thickening up for winter. You'd have to see it to believe it.

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Tuesday, 5 January 2010

All is not right in the galaxy........

It would appear that after more than a decade of being ogled and adored by women globally and let's face it ladies it's not for his footballing prowess (and I can appreciate a quality cross or free kick as much as the next person), David Beckham is now actually trying to repel women.

First there was this hideous beard.....
and then this dodgy new hairdo....

(Don't even get me started on that suit or the fact that Charlize Theron hosted the World Cup draw whilst not even attempting to pretend she had a clue what she was actually promoting. I swear she was only there to smooch Mr Beckham and for that she should no doubt be commended).
Then tragically both together.
I am now sadly being forced to reconsider my 13 year long crush on him myself.

My allegiance is definitely wavering.

One things for sure, I won't be getting a David Beckham mug and jigsaw for my upcoming birthday like I did the year I turned 22.

Let that be a lesson to you David.

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Saturday, 2 January 2010

Separated at Birth?

Out in the car running errands with Eli we stopped at some traffic lights.

"Wow look Mummy, it's Tom and Jenna!"

I glanced around immediately to see where my brother in law and his girlfriend were.

Then I saw this:
I honestly can't figure out if Tom and Jenna should feel offended or not.

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