The Wonderful Wisdom of Wise Women

Last night I went out for pizza and a movie with friends. One of the friends was Rob's cousins pregnant wife Katie and the other was one of my closest friends in all the world, Dawn.

We chatted away like girls do and eventually the topic turned to childbirth (Rob will think this was inevitable because whenever I go out with friends this topic comes up, it is never initiated by me and I can't think of anything I'd like to discuss less whilst eating). It was only to be expected really when in the presence of a person almost 36 weeks pregnant with their first child. We were the seasoned voice of experience after all, we were providing a service really, she is hundreds of miles from home and her mother in law just left to live in China. So we figured who better to offer her support and calm her fears in preparation for labour than us.

Now thinking about it when Dawn and I were housemates we were loved by our fellow housemates (to this very day!) but they have admitted they found us, sarcastic, mean and a little bit (okay a big bit!) too harsh in our teasing when we were together. Individually apparently we were just lovely all the time. So, who better to offer you advice on the eve of you bringing another person into the world. Who wouldn't want reassurance from us when you're facing a potentially terrifying ordeal?

Despite our well meaning intentions this is how it went:

Dawn: (Mother of two girls, excels at keeping the baby in until week 41 or even 42, brave/stupid enough to survive childbirth without an epidural) "All I'm saying is if you think you're coping with the pain ok that's great. But just know that the pain is gonna get 50 to a 100 times worse before you are through and then when you realise you can't cope it'll be too late for an epidural. I wish I had an epidural with Hannah because the pain was just awful, in fact I was completely traumatised afterwards".

Me: (Mother of two boys, survivor of one C-Section and one induced labour, complete wimp in the face of pain) "If you're ruling out an epidural because you're scared of the needle and the pain associated with it, just know that the pain of giving birth far outweighs the pain of the epidural."

Needless to say if she wasn't terrified before she definitely will be now.

Our intentions were well meaning but I think pregnant people everywhere should probably have an injunction taken out against us.