Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Belated 4th of July

You know I can't think about the 4th of July without having a little bit of a chuckle. Without fail I recall 4th of July 2000 when I was working for EFY (Church Youth camp) and on waking at some unearthly hour I stepped out into the corridor of Stover Building on BYU campus only to fall into the deathly embrace of a truly hysterical 14 year old girl.

The source of hysteria was not immediately obvious to me. I had already learned that Summer that 14 year old girls aren't particularly easy to understand even when they are being fully rational. Considering the weeping mess in question wasn't rational in the slightest and that at 6am I am not particularly patient (or attractive) I escorted weeping mess back to her room hoping that her room mate could shed some light on the issue at hand.

At this point I was thinking either a fatality had occurred in her family or heaven forbid *NSYNC had disbanded unexpectedly. But when we got to the bottom of things it was neither of my suspected scenarios. Instead the poor girl was simply devastated because she had come to the realisation (dimwitted as it may well have been) that it was just dreadful that her delightful (my word not hers) EFY counselor should have to leave US shores at the summers end only to return to a country completely lacking in liberty.

Now I don't know whether the Utah education service (if that is what it is even called) was to blame or if the girl in question was just a lovely dimwit but I'd like to assure all the world that we are happily enjoying the fruits of liberty on this side of the Atlantic also.

Just in case you needed any clarity on that point.

So in honour of all my lovely friends in the USA I decided to give you a little peek into the reasons Rob and I would actually consider leaving our home and moving Westward.

Rob's 3 reasons (Which I have kindly chosen for him because I am a thoughtful wife like that!)

Taco Bell, on Rob's one and only trip to the states he would have happily eaten at Taco Bell on a daily basis, twice daily even. He could hardly contain his glee at his good fortune of being able to purchase 3 soft taco's for the bargain price of $1 and being able to wash it down with a gallon sized cup of Pepsi. Mexican food is sadly lacking here so even Taco Bell was like fine Mexican dining to Rob.
Root Beer, another US staple sadly lacking from our British lives. Rob recently purchased some from an import place for a pricey $1.40 per can. Criminal. He remembers fondly being able to purchase 12 cans for $3 at Walmart. That gem has frequently come up in conversation.
Rob would happily eat his body weight in these bad boys, but don't tell his dad...he's a dentist!

Carol's 3 reasons
Shaved ice. Simply Amazing. I love that you can get it in just about any flavour imaginable. It is like a pregnant woman's paradise. Peanut butter & Dill Pickle? No problem! Though I always went with the more conservative half grape, half cherry myself!
Pretzels, Pure Carbohydrate heaven. Yummo!
Corn Dogs. Genius invention. When the Siswick's hit Florida in 2005 my sister in law (who had previously lived in Dallas for 18 months) looked at me like I was the definition of white trash for stocking up on corn dogs. I know they're not classy but they are dinner on a stick and I am easily impressed.

You would imagine the prospect of paying 50% less than we pay for petrol (yet you are complaining, Tut! Tut!), or the fact that salaries in the US are higher than here and everything costs half the price would have swayed us somewhat.

But no all of our reasons for ever considering American citizenship are food and beverage related. So it's just as well we aren't ever going to seriously consider it because we'd be living on a diet of Corn Dogs, Taco Bell, Candy, Root Beer and Shaved Ice.

At least our grocery bill would be cheap.

Which is just as well because our inevitable heart bypass would no doubt be pricey!

17 lovely comments:

jennie w. said...

That is what we Americans live on! I prefer Slurpees to shaved ice, though. And I like the mini corn dogs better than the full-sized. Don't let Rob come to Texas. There is Mexican food on every corner.

Simply Shannon said...

I adore you Carol.
I know that I can always turn to you for a hearty chuckle.
I must say, from what I remember of Jolly Old England- Culinary delights would not be on my list of attractions while visiting. Of course, the last time I was there I was 10 and quite picky. Perhaps you could give us a list of delightful things we are lacking?

beth said...

This is quite a list. Somewhat similar to my reasons to leave the US list, but no judgement... :)

Jen said...

The US does know how to do junk food. You have given credit where credit was due.

AMY said...

What about Mimi's Cafe? Remember it was I that first introduced you to our lovely food. In fact, isn't that about all we did was eat? It is better that you never move to the US, you would end up plump like the rest of us. Although, there are no chippies on the corner here that will deep fry a candy bar...now that is good!

Becky said...

lol.... you're so funny!! I for one think corn dogs and cheap root beer are very legitimate reasons for applying for US citizenship :) Ian says hi btw and sorry he hasn't contacted you in a while. We should do a curry again soon.... thanks for your comments on our blog. I'm still figuring this all out so wasn't sure how to write back.... do I comment mine or yours? Who knows!!! I soooo should've been born blonde!! :)

Heidi said...

Ewwww on the Mike and Ikes. But let me say this, you've got some good stuff that we're missing out on, too. Maybe tomorrow I'll do a British version of your blog . . . you are so inspiring, Carol!

THopgood said...

*sigh*

The things we Americans take for granted....

Cami said...

I'm glad to learn that you enjoy your freedom too! Now I know we have a lot of junk food here that's yummy, but doesn't the chocolate just suck compared to yours? That right there may be a reason to stay where you're at. I love shaved ice too, sounding pretty darn good right about now, maybe I'll go get one!

Kelli said...

Your EFY story is hilarious. I was a Mia Maids leader for almost 3 years so I can totally see one of my girls being oh-so-overly- dramatic and saying something like that. haha!

I gotta tell ya though...I don't know what I'd do without root beer!

P.S. You could totally do the Karaoke thing! It really wasn't as intimidating as I thought it might be...and, of course, I was completely sober...but the audience didn't know that. hahaha!

carrie said...

If it weren't for lack of Mexican food (and we aren't talking Taco Bell here), I'd move overseas in a heartbeat.

And if you want me to send you some rootbeer and jolly joes, just say the word! ;)

Wendi said...

Happy Belated Fourth to you!!!

You are hilarious!

Those are great reasons to move westward.

Start filling out your papers.

I agree with the others... we need a post about all the reasons you need to stay in good ole England.

Heidi said...

Done and done. I've done my British version, dear.

Veronica @ Toddled Dredge said...

I might be willing to move to England just to get away from some of those things. Except snow cones. You are right about those.

And if I lived in England then I'd have to live with English plumbing. Shudder. Give me water pressure or give me death.

Karen said...

I came across you from POW! Love the blog!
I have a homemade pretzel recipe that everyone loves. If you go to my profile and pick my Recipeasy it's listed under the breads! I make these pretzels every week for 8 weeks in the summer for 200 people at the camp we work at. They love them!

auds at barking mad said...

Your hubby actually LIKES rootbeer? My very British hubby HATES the stuff and still curses me for the day I had him try it for the first time. I got the impression from all my time spent living over there, that most Brits didn't like it either. Wow, this is a first.

I missed rootbeer so much whilst living over there...and genuine mexican food. But you know what I really miss about living over there? Waitrose and their fresh bread. Well even Tesco's fresh bread is amazing compared to anything we have over here on this side of the pond that passes for bread.

And I miss decent Yorkshire Puddings...because hard as I try, mine always come out crap.

Hubby says he misses decent curries...I don't, never could stand the things. Oh and real Christmas cake with rock hard icing...he really misses that. Yuck!

Carol...did you attend school here in the states?

Yes, I am nosey. *lol*

Beeswax said...

Last summer I ordered a root beer at the Mandarin in Knightbridge. After ten minutes, a finnish, a british, and a frenchy waiter later, none of whom had ever heard of root beer, he ended up with a ten dollar coke.