Saturday, 16 February 2008

Experiencing the inevitable

I am the proud parent of a child who has been potty trained since Mid-December. I had been expecting what we experienced today, it was inevitable. But I just wish it hadn't been inevitable today. That we could have put it off another year or two.

So we were out shopping and half way round the shop I hear,

"Mummy I need Pee Pee!!!

"Can you hold it in?"

"I need Pee Pee!"

I scanned around hoping to see a toilet sign but knowing deep down inside that there would be no such thing. Also knowing that the nearest toilet was a car journey away. So I had to succumb and be one of those mothers who takes their child outside to pee in public. This is humiliating to me, but what can you do? Neither of the following options are appealing, a public pee or peeing his pants in public. So I went with the option that didn't add to my huge pile of laundry resembling the Himalayas.

So I took him outside to get it over and done with and preferably before he got his urination over and done with in his pants.

"Mum, I wanna go pee pee in there! (Pointing at the shop I just left as we head to the car)

We arrive at the car and go round the front of it so we're secluded partly by the car and against a wall.

"But Mummy this isn't a toilet!"

I try to explain that it's perfectly fine to pee in a car park when there are no toilets, even though I don't for a second believe it. I soon realise that this isn't a good opportunity to teach him to pee standing up. He looked at me like I was a lunatic. So I pick him up by the backs of his knees try to aim his hose so that neither of us get pee on us. (Much to my dismay I realise now that shoppers use the walkway between my car and the wall where we are trying to pee as a shortcut to the entrance, like that doesn't make this experience a million times more mortifying!)

"Mummy this is not a toilet!"

"I know Thomas but you need to go pee so just do it it's fine, it's ok!


"Ok you hold it in like a good boy and we'll go find a toilet quickly!"

So we jump in the car and head to a nearby Supermarket to use their facilities. Obviously Supermarkets are heaving on Saturday afternoons. Nowhere to park so I have to pull up at the entrance (Dukes of Hazzrd style obviously!) get my mum to take him to the toilet while I wait in the car.

Predictably he does the smallest pee ever in the history of the human race. Ironically if I had made him hold it until he could hold it no longer I bet it would've been a pee comparable to that of a giant horse or Niagara Falls.

He gets back in the car,

"Mum, I did it!"

"Good boy!"

(With disgust!) "I pee in toilet, not in car park!"

Next time I'll just avoid the major humiliation and let him pee his pants!

1 lovely comments:

Heidi said...

Ha, ha. I've taken Ivy outside peeing several times. It's always humiliating. However, she's no Thomas. She's perfectly happy to pee in a car park.

I'm sure she gets that from her father.