Remember not so long ago I was harping on about Thomas starting nursery and not feeling ready for that stage?
Well I really need to clarify, it wasn't the thought of him being gone 12.5 hours a week (I was excited about that for both of us I assure you) that pulled on my heart strings it was the fact that he is getting bigger and more independent all the time and I just simply can't keep up.
For goodness sake he was just born and he is already 3 and next time I blink he'll no doubt be fully grown and leaving home (see how I completely bypassed the teenage years there? Yep, I am in denial and we're 9 years away). Time betrays me every day by going too quickly.
Two weeks in he adores Nursery School but every day I collect him he seems just a little bit smarter and a tiny bit bigger. I have to admit though the last two weeks I have revelled in the wisdom of my decision making skills by choosing to send him in the afternoons. We have happily idled away our mornings waking at 8:30, breakfasting at leisure and dressing sometime before noon. It has also been lovely to have quality time with Eli every single day.
I have been feeling like life is pretty much perfect.
Then on Thursday I got the most terrific phone message ever. It was Thomas's old playgroup calling to say that they had Eli on their waiting list to start in January (the next term after he turns 2.5) but because they're familiar with him and he is used to the environment would I like to start him a little bit earlier, like on Monday????
YES I REALLY REALLY WOULD!!
I was so excited by the prospect I had to listen to the message 4 times to get her number to call her back. I returned her call and made sure she knew that he wasn't potty trained (and I have no intentions of attempting him being so) and that he wasn't 2.5 yet. She knew both things and they were still happy to take him. Hooray!
So on Monday and Wednesday he will be attending playgroup. I am thrilled for him and even more so for myself.
Back when I made the slothful decision to send Thomas in the afternoons I knew when Eli started playgroup in January he would be going in the mornings.
You know what that means? It means I could have had 6 beautiful hours to myself, every single week. But in some obvious attempt to win some Mother of the year contest I actually decided to put the kids before myself (could I be more motherly?) and have them go at alternate times so I could have quality time with one while the other was busy at school/playgroup. That has to be award worthy, seriously.
I was elated at the prospect of him being a big boy and attending playgroup right up until I climbed into bed on Thursday night. I lay there waiting for sleep to come and my head filled with thoughts.
What if it turns out like that time I helped out and took Eli along?
What if he bites someone? (Always a possibility where Eli is concerned.)
What if he is just too young?
What if creates poop art there?
What if they discover his double butt and think he's a bit odd?
Eli is my baby. He may well be 2 and 4 months but he is my baby.
He is our youngest and he is starting playgroup and becoming independent.
I had my babies close together and every day felt 47 hours long and it felt like they would be babies forever. But now neither of them are babies.
I felt sad.
I knew the day was coming but January seemed so far away and so much more manageable.
Think of me because tomorrow (slightly reluctantly) I become the mother of two big boys.
22 lovely comments:
Wow, that is a big step! I'm excited for all of you, but a little bit sad for you too. I hope that things go well tomorrow. I'm sure they will.
It's hard watching your babies become boys. We are in that same phase, too. Everyday literally slips by. It sounds like you get to spend quality alone time with each boy. That in itself is wonderful!
Oh dear, this is a big step!
What a great move having them go at opposite times, though. I'm sure your special time with each boy will be totally blessed.
Good luck with your two big boys :)
It's all a little bittersweet isn't it?
Will be thinking about you tomorrow.
And your award is on it's way! :)
Oh, a sad and happy day all at once. I'm sure it will go well, and you won't know what to do with yourself.
Awww! Your babies aren't babies. It's such a horrible feeling, but a good one at the smae time. I was looking at pics of Eilidh when she was a baby and I felt so sad, cos I dont' have that wee baby anymore - i haev a big girl. Think it's almost like a mourning feeling... :(
Good luck for tomorrow. no doubt Eli will absolutely love it:)
oooohhhh....
I want to participate in the poop art session!
tee hee hee
Big hugs to you. I am sure you (and Eli) will be fine.
Remember one of your jobs is to let them grow and be independent otherwise they would be living in your basement forever.
Good Luck tomorrow!
If I had an award I'd give you one for sure. My oldest are 4 and 3 and I practically begged the preschool to take them both. NO GO! They had so many applications priority to the 4 yr olds, oh well more babies for me.
Ah...but more imPORtantly....you become a mother with 6 full hours of alone time! =)
Tomorrow will go well! I am sure taht he is excited and will do great!
Sounds to me like maybe baby 3 needs to start making their appearance here soon! :)
Hoping tomorrow goes well for you and them!
Girl, you are going to regret not getting rid of them at the same time! That's the whole point of nursery school.
I love that you wrote, "slightly reluctantly" because not only does it show how you "really" feel, it sounds fun to say out loud. Try it.
You are such a good mom to have made that choice to have one on one time with you. I'm sure they will love that! Time does go so fast. I remember those 47 hr days and they were miserable. As cute as my kids were back then I am so happy in the stage they are in now. It is so much nicer. I wish I enjoyed their toddler days more, but I just didn't. I think I'd enjoy it more if I had it to do over again since I know how fast it truly goes.
Ah I know how you feel. Its hard to let go. But Eli will love it and he'll be loved by everyone because of the crazy things he'll most likely do. Anyway who remembers a boring kid? Keep me informed, I love a good laugh. Give your beautiful boys a big kiss from me. We miss you guys. xx
Awww.... :( How did your first day as a "mother of two big boys" go?
I honestly can't wait until Kendra is in preschool, so that I can have one on one time with Kingston. I feel like he gets cheated out on that, since I had almost 3.5 years with just Kendra before he came along.
I know what you mean. When "they" tell you to enjoy them because the time will fly you don't really believe it until it happens!
You do deserve an award for not taking 6 hours for yourself each week!!
I am sure that Eli will do great at playgroup and so will you.
Are you serious, call them back right now and switch them back. I'd be with the thinking that 6 hours all to myself makes me a better mother when they are with you.
You are totally going for the Mother of the Year award!
Awwwww *hugs*
Having twins who are 18 and a 2 year old, I have been where you are, and will be there again soon.
sniffle, sniffle...believe me I know exactly how you feel. It's crazy how it all sneaks up on you. I'm still having a hard time with Abby being at preschool and this is the 3rd week.
And then tomorrow I have to leave Noah with my sister-in-law for a couple hours while I go to work (new storyteller job) and I'm afraid that he's going to be upset when I leave. He's a bit of a mama's boy. He won't even stay in nursery at church unless Pat or I are in there with him. But I'm crossing my fingers because he LOVES his aunt Ashley & his little cousin. We'll see...
But playgroups for Noah? Pretty much out of the question right now, and he's almost the same age as Eli. (He was 2 on 6/30).
I hope he's enjoying it! :)
Ahhh...it's always bittersweet isn't it? I miss Connor so much at school, but then when he's home it's crazy...Can't believe they let them start playgroup so young, I wish they had something like that here!
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