Compare and Contrast

Those familiar with Facebook may well be aware of the 'Compare People' application that you can add to help you well...compare people. For those not in the know it is this nifty little function that asks you to randomly compare two of your friends against each other on a variety of things, like who has the best hair or who would you rather kiss, incidentally nobody thinks I have the best hair (not many fans of the annual haircut I guess) but two people would rather kiss me! It's not terribly accurate because you are only being compared against one other person and not every friend you have but still the results are somewhat interesting, amusing and at times a tiny bit painful.

So considering Rob is away with work and I can't sleep without him here until I reach the point of sheer exhaustion and just pass out I have been killing time on the Internet until now, 1:30am, sheer exhaustion evidently hasn't kicked in yet, but I'll for sure be feeling it tomorrow because it's my helping day at playgroup and I failed to find someone to watch Eli but hopefully we'll have no repeats of our last experience.

So this is how I compare to my Facebook friends:

I am the 1st 'Coolest'. Somehow I won all 5 votes in this category. I can't even begin to imagine how seriously uncool an individual would have to be to be less cool than me.

I am the 2nd 'Smartest', again winning all 5 votes. (See comment above but replace uncool/cool with unsmart/smart) I totally think people just know I studied Biochem at University and think that sounds supremely difficult so I must be really clever, truth is it is supremely difficult (not to mention boring) but I never claimed to excel at it. Plus now I don't even remember any of it. But I have finally memorised the names of all 5 Backyardigans so maybe I am a little bit smart after all, does that count?

I am the 4th 'Rather get stuck in handcuffs with'. I didn't do quite so well here, out of 5 votes I only won 4. One of my friends would rather be stuck in handcuffs with somebody very clearly less smart and cool than me, shame on them, but seriously chances are I wouldn't want to be stuck in handcuffs with them anyway.

I am the 5th 'Would make a better Mother'. I won 3 out of 3 votes which is 100% so some people clearly think I am a better mum than I actually really am.

I am the 7th 'Most Reliable'. Again winning only 4 out of 5 votes but a reliability rating of 80% is pretty flaming respectable.

So I sound pretty good eh? Cool, smart, good mother, reliable and desirable to be stuck in handcuffs with.

Well that's because they are the 5 things at the very top of my list, if I scroll all the way down to the bottom five it is a very different story, but no one is perfect, right?

I am the 100th 'More likely to succeed'. I only won 1 out of 5 votes in this category. I guess I haven't been using my smartness and coolness to my greatest advantage. It was humbling indeed to realise I am not succeeding. Thanks 'friends' for pointing that out!

I am the 100th 'better friend'. Out of two votes I won zero. Now this I really resent because I happen to know that I am a spectacular friend. Yes, I might mock or throw sarcastic comments around with ease but still I am dependable (and the 7th most reliable) so I can only assume these results came from Facebook friends that aren't really my friends at all but just people who want to appear popular because they have 500 friends on Facebook even though 80% of them they have barely met let alone spoken with. I'm not bitter, seriously.

I am the 107th 'better singer', again losing two out of two votes, fortunately I was under no illusions that my singing was appropriate for anywhere other than the shower.

I am the 111th 'craziest' losing out on the only vote. Bah, I'm a Capricorn we're not supposed to be crazy. Plus I have two kids under three, where am I supposed to summon the energy or time from to be crazy?

And finally at the very bottom of my list, I am the 116th 'Most talkative'. Losing two of two votes. That's me, quiet, unassuming with nothing to say.

But then you knew that already.